records have been declassified for public release. 16 years later
99.993% is classified , and the Pentagon has vowed to reclassify
these records. This include Confidential Records that should have
been released at the 15 year mark. They were not, and not at 20 years,
25 years, or 30 years. To protect private interest that profited from the war
and protect government officials from over 44,000 mistakes made there.
On February 14th 1999 I sent OSAGWI a FOIA asking for the bulk
of its records names be declassified, and sent to me. I received a
partial reply from General Vesser in a box with 2,877 pages, and
two CD's. On the CD was the Structured database file and other part
was a unstructured file. Again, only of the 42,943 files on the
public server. In the Nov 5th1999 response letter from OSAGWI to
me they explained they were processing the classified portion of the
log sheets for me. That was the last I ever heard from them on paper
concerning this FOIA. It remains mostly unanswered to this day
OSAGWI database file of 42,943 files
OSAGWI response to me concerning partial response to FOIA
on the other 6,000,00 files.
The Pentagon hides behind Executive Order 13292 so that the bulk
of what happened in the Gulf remains hidden from the public. Except
this is criminal intent to withhold information of neglect, misconduct,
mishandling, and much worse during the Gulf War. The very same
people who say nothing happened are the ones with full knowledge
of those records, and vow to conceal them at all cost. The same people
who lead us back to Iraq again under false terms, and created yet another
disaster to live down.
April 13 24th, 2021
Moderna vaccine and temp VA shot offices
You wont see me endorse very much these days. Ive gotten so cynical
that its hard to be upbeat. But, Ive had both Moderna vaccines over a month
with very little side effects. In fact, yesterday I didnt even feel the shot or
have to lay down 5 hours later with fatigue. The 2nd one was a breeze.
Ide asked the folks around the Waco VAMC about the last month with the
program. They said its been routine, even boring. From what I saw at Building
6 it was if I could say so. Many were coming for the 2nd shot.
Folks, with the 3rd wave under way I strongly encourage you to at least try
the Moderna out. If anyone was going to have a bad reaction it would
have been me and so far even with my current health issues heading into
this nothing really changed that I can tell. Lets just say Ide rather go this
route then end up in a ICU or dead. As 1 in 3 that survive Covid end up with
some form of permanent issues.
From what I can tell here in central Texas the Covid vaccines have had a
pretty good over all reaction rate. Compared to typhoid shots where your
going down hard for 3 days. VA itself is doing a pretty good job and if nothing
else they dont seem to be getting very much business here. As its all
by appointment now, and then you get your shot record. Ide say the benefits
out weigh the other side of this. Its your lives folks.
March 24th, 2021
The oil price bell curve and economic decline
For 14 years now Ive correctly called every bell curve decline of oil prices.
Its not hard to visualize. The industry demands oil be at the projected
economic 1985 price so the super rich can cash in as they wipe the rest
of us out. Man, Im sick of the Reagan era report.
The poor cant afford the price the rich want set for oil and gas. Once oil
is past $42 a barrel they think it can support $100 and keep going. Push
push push. Then people stop buying and consumption slows. Inventory
goes nuts, and comes the backlash. This kicks off a year of decline as
it goes below threshold and the oil industry operates below cost. They dont
get that $22 a barrel for 20 years was the only period it was stable. That
going past $40 is heading for eventual decline. Every time. Its time to get
out of oil and make it a state controlled item rather than market commodity.
Price fix it, and stop thinking profit.
We have too many folks out there that think now is the time to strike in
every direction, rather than work collectively to rebuild. Locally, each small
minded druggy and drunk are only out to drive there neighbors into the ground
hoping there about to out stupid them. There limited perceptions and delusions
have no concept in survival or reality - only the idea that they matter. But, then
comes the weird behavior and self destructive impulses that dont operate
in reality. More of the same will win the day, there about to out stupid everyone.
So bit by bit law enforcement has been picking them off as they only get
bold enough to be obvious about there intent. This is most certainly reflective
of the national intent. Anti-logic and backwards thinking.
Ive been on top of so many things. As I cant afford delusion and subjective
concepts. So Im correctly predicting only to find Im operating a lone in a
vacuum of those that want that self reinforcing delusion to pay off. Im really
stunned at how trapped people are by there logic, or lack of it. That more of
the same is the answer. No matter what reality suggest. Its a sign of drugs
that a person cant escape destructive behavior even after being arrested.
They return to it, and keep going because that worked - when it didnt. The
more damaged the middle brain, the more angry and psychotic the intent.
Again, the economy reflects this too. Get a credit card and pay the inflated
prices at all cost. The mean ass insane rich want this gross inflation model
they can cash in on. The less educated public gobbles it up as cheaper tech
makes entertainment a better distraction than drugs. Till the endorphin rush
isnt enough any more. The endorphin "personality war" is the result.
"Quality of life" is living in balance with nature. Not defying it and stomping
it into the ground. Concrete versus green grass. The Neanderthals of America
have no concepts of this. Live for the moment, get revenge, spread harm.
Starts at the top and trickles down as long as they have the upper hand.
What is left is everyone picking each other off. Well, thats what you have now
on a much greater scale than you get. Covid only manifested this deep set
genetic time bomb of anti-logic in the population as they look at the problem
as everyone elses fault, and what can they do to revenge there delusion. So
many people bent on negative energy, and wasted resources. Not looking at
the possibility the problems start in the mirror. Not excepting there own flawed
world has having a real kink in it. Even if there lives count on it.
Every day I solve another problem on my place, and watch others get worse. As
I use a linear method every day to deal with so much. While others think I must be
finally falling apart, they only get more obvious as they crumble. Osage is
filled with dope smokers attacking each other in sad passive aggressive ways
theyve done for years like this week it will be different. This time anti-logic won.
Only, now its all obvious and they come off as sad little animals of repetition.
So much wasted energy, which there properties, and homes reflect. Standing
in there trash barking like dogs. Really folks? That's your answer. You cant
even see it any more? You dont get that each supposed friend that mirrors
your personality also does the same to you. The community homes around me
haven endless personality conflicts as there own allies are also betraying them
openly now. Its almost comical to watch if it wasnt so sad.
That is America for you, throw trash in your yard or others, and say its someone
elses fault. Till your drunken rage lands you back in jail once more. Its far more
important to thwart others at all cost. So the rich go on skimming off the masses
as there consumerism mentalities cant be pushed as far as they want. Its not
about building a viable infrastructure, its about putting that last pay check in
the riches hands as they use up the masses. With bloated pricing and credit.
Make sure education is in sharp decline, create more Neanderthals to control.
Im not lost to recreation, drugs, or delusions - reality is hard enough without
all that. I spend time studying, and keep it all simple. Reduce it to its most
simple levels. Every day I solve issues that I chip away at. While it seems all
around me fiddle while Rome burns. You cant be taught, your going to prove
it, how dare others defy your logic - then what? Who did you really outsmart?
Did America get better today by your actions? Or are you standing in your own
filth saying "you cant make me pick this up" much less reason the higher
order of the global economy consumerism spiral.
Its starts with you, and so far American are out to prove they cant learn. Then
dont cry as your world crumbles - that same lack of sympathy is coming
right back at you. Solve your problems, grow up about it all. Just like the bulk
of Gulf war vets out there. Pull together or be picked off. Too many idiots
demanding others care first, the other person has to try first. If you cant think
outside the box, push aside your bad animals instincts, then the only person
you have defeated is yourself. The rich certainly love that.
Intellect works great for me, and it gives me a sense of purpose. Just so sad
that intellect is so heavily frowned on in America. When did solving problems
become so mired in misdirection?
President Bush and the Crawford drug crowd
You know what burns me up? Living about 3 miles from George Bush and
how bad the drugs are out around his home in Crawford.
Ive spent years cleaning, mowing, and caring for Osage just down from him.
Well, guess what - its not welcome are wanted. It infuriates the druggies and
drunks busy destroying the area. Every week, and sometimes every day the
druggies and drunks do all manner of harm out here. Including automatic
weapons that you would think the secret service would show some interest in.
Over 4 places around him burping out "rrraaappppp", a spray of bullets.
Sure is nice to know the secret service is ONLY there to protect the President
while these same people throw Keystone and Lite beer cans literally on his door
step. Yes, the road in front of him is a littered hell hole like the others out here.
Was last time I drove by not long ago.
Syringes, rolling papers, and other items liter these roads. Doesnt bother him
I guess. No civic interest in this region or Crawford as it dries up. The park looks
so bad with all the beer cans, plastic, and trash down there over whelming them.
They try to keep it up, then the same jerks come out at night to poison that.
I sure love this double standard where I try to live right, and be a pariah doing it
while - a target even. All the while King George sits on high ignoring his region
as the squalor grows right up to his door step. As he betrayed Crawford
and the people here he once called his neighbors long ago. Not even asking his
bored secret service to show some local civic interest. Then again, us little people
really never mattered to him. Those Gulf war vets that served our country in time
of war only to be forgotten.
It sure is ironic, and indicative of the times. The contempt the rich have for the
poor and the resources they waste while we go without. How obvious does this
have to become? Then again, how many are living a lie and saying they arent?
But, its something that cant be ignored much longer - when its on your door step.
March 15th, 2021
So many trying to out stupid each other, with no concept
of that future
Thankfully, I dont have to look to others for guidance or direction. As I keep
chipping away at the issues in my life using intellect and reason. With such
a huge mechanical skill set the only thing I need most of the time is - time.
Then I watch others around me. Clueless, bitter, and all they live for is that
sad seeming distorted moment of revenge against whatever imagined issues
they blame others for. No effort into looking for truths or absolutes. Not even
signs of objective reasoning. Just stoned or drunken antics. Always circling
back for more if they arent caught because they get so over confident that
nothing can touch there sad weird ways. Till one asshole finally got caught
in his own drunken crap. The first of many out here as time runs out on
there seeming good luck streaks of losers.
For me, I found out that I have a Amylase deficiency that is unique and specific.
No thanks to VA, the RAC, medical researchers, or anyone - I figured out my
issue and started treating it myself. OK, its one of many. But, this is the worst
one messing me up right now. This is also a area VA does NOT look at. Not even by
accident. Yet, its effects are so broad and sweeping. Can make you miserable
in dozens of ways. Been offsetting it with pineapple and mangio juice. A damn
enzyme ( lack of ) had me on the ropes for years.
The point is, since February 15th Ive worked alone solving dozens of little issues
that kicked off in one day. In that time I fixed most of it alone, one piece at a time,
and little of nothing money wise. If anything, the locals saw a chance to hurt me
and tried to make it worse. Thats dope, drugs, and booze for you - coupled
with 88 IQ's and no moral compass. Only to find Im more of man than all of them
combined and multiplied by a thousand. As I didnt join there pathetic attempts
to out stupid each other. Worse than watching animals fight over nothing.
RAC meeting was no different. 85 personalities and none of them any kind of
true team player. Trying to out stupid each other. So you didnt even see conversations
on the chat bar - just people talking at each other but not to. Good thing I dont
look to these people for directions either. Acupuncture? How is that going to
help organ failures? Seems intentional to me and what VA wants. Misdirection.
Well, all this and then what folks? A month from now, a year, 5 years? How is
that festival of stupidity working out for you long term? Do you really think the
world is going to conform to your distorted logic? As long as the vaccine rolls
out all is well? But, now all 4 vaccine show side effects that are becoming more
obvious. Astra Zeneca now on the chopping block. Did we rebuild all that failing
infrastructure and utilities? Only thing going on right now are oil companies raping
the public once more. Like its so justified that only they should cash in. The bell
curve is in play again as they crash the prices this year. You cant jack it up
and expect it to just stick. The poor ( 85% ) cant take it for long.
Im the voice of reason that isnt wanted any where, and yet Im more on the mark
than most anyone Ive seen. I planned, and scraped, and set aside so that when
things tanked I was up. They did in February like never before in Texas, and here
it is March and people pretend all is well. Nothing is fixed long term. Seems no
one learned. Was all to real for me and I got hit really really hard. The sting
is still there as Im working on so damn many things. But, I knew supplies would
be gone - no one would help no one - and the locals would see this as a opportunity
to be shitty. They did.
Covid is still out there, infrastructure is not fixed, commodities are still frail, and people
are not uniting on anything but recreation and entertainment. What a bunch of morons
living for the moment. Like this pitiful $1,400 stimulus check would help them long
term. Which, by the way I did not get. Boy, was that a given. As Im less equal than
others if I dont buddy up to the criminals and thugs at all levels.
America is all about inequality and pettiness of the stupid. This is still very much a
disaster right now as much as it was a month ago, and Texas decides its time to take
the mask off. All is well, go play, and spend money. What science is that based on?
I think I saw it on a episode of the 3 Stooges.
I will find my own answers, and think outside the box. Let the idiots finish themselves
off. No shortage of that. You dont need a mask right now? Sure, and you dont need
food, utilities, a home or job. As long as you have your video games, TV, drugs, booze,
and whatever along those lines - then its time to go make sure your neighbor doesnt
make it either. Ide say this is stupid and some.
Im trying so hard not to be stupid, and man am I a minority in so many ways and
on so many levels. The question is, what did you do today not to be a burden to
others? What one thing did you do this morning that benefited anyone around
you? I do 5 or more before 9am each day, and then work on my own. As I know
Im on my own as if I was a homesteader in the 1840's. Barely even that.
Whoever put 'Dumb and dumber" in charge, remember - you cant complain when
that gets too tough to live any more. You dont notice dumb lions getting lucky
in then wild - they get driven away to die alone. Nature doesnt work with this way
and distorting reality doesnt fix that. You make it tougher for others, dont cry
when its your turn to be pooped on. Its not if, just when, and soon.
March 11th, 2021
Decimation of the medical system and the Mother Teresa
complex that added to it
One of the hardest things about charitable work is how thankless it is if its
done right. Advocates often loose sight of that fact, and give up if they dont
get that heart felt thank you. This decline only picked up speed after 2000
as people became more self centered and apathetic.
In comes Covid and the novice medical students and well meaning ER staffers
burn out from the months that pass trying to save people. The system wasnt
ready for this, and it wasnt prepared in ways that saved lives till a year later.
So the first few months were meaningless death after death.
Those that joined the medical system lightly not wanting the 3rd world experience
really didnt want this. America isnt like that, so they thought. Then came the tidal
wave mid year and it just kept coming. No breaks, and then the medical staff
started falling. Constant exposure sealed there fates. Didnt end well for many.
The diligent well meaning types with religious fixations got hit hard. As they
watched unfair distinctions of who made it and didnt. Why would god allow
so much suffering and take these younger folks. As the numbers rolled past
the hundred to thousands a numbness took over and sort of fear to go to work
any more. It will be the same today, and no one will know this one person that
died on me today - as they died alone. Forgotten.
Mother Teresa meant well in her own way, but she took on too much, and was
so over whelmed by it year after year till it burned her out. She began making bad
choices that further compounded her feelings. She lost her faith because she
expected too much from it and herself. You take on that much misery for
decades, and it destroys you from within. It becomes inhuman and too dark.
We are in danger of loosing decades of medical personnel that cant handle what
has hit them. Cant replace them in time. Now its like sending them to Iraq and
be surrounded by so much misery daily. The hardest part is they sacrifice and they
sacrifice thinking people will remember them. Only to find people have very short
memories if at all. Which will make them leave the institution as its so negative
now. A war zone that America ignores like it did Iraq. Sanitized too much for
the public to take its serious. As Americans need to see the suffering up close
with all its gore and horror.
After Coivd peters out, it will take a decade for the medical professions to recover
enough to fill the numerous vacancies that appear like sink holes in every county.
No one will want this job, its not glamorous. You can die doing it, and no one
remembers what you did. Hospitals become meat grinders in several ways. VA will
be no different as the quality of the interns become almost all foreigners and not
there best either.
America isnt glamorous any more, and the 3rd world mantle is firmly in place.
Jobs you take now will be depressing and thankless. All of this makes this a
meaner place to live and the resentment is growing. Which way will you go?
Get angry and seek revenge, or struggle with deeper moral concepts of what
life really is. Make it better without that thank you. The drunks and dope heads
already made there choice - destroy. Spread misery. Then what?
March 10th, 2021
New style Gulf war illness RAC meeting today - after
Well, I attended the Webex meeting today and found that it didnt eat me
alive on the bandwidth. 650 megs for the full session. But, I wasnt
transmitting video either. Dont need to be seen. Just heard.
At one point I saw up to 85 people on the side bar. This is the most Ive
ever seen attend. Lots of doctors chiming in. We also had the crew of the
former RAC trying to participate. Lea Steele and Kim Sullivan sat quietly
observing Beatrice Gollumb getting her ten cents in. We had phone lurkers
refusing to use names as well. Listed as phone 35 and so on.
I did get the first stab at the chat box during the first presentation. As Im
pretty quick study of technology. Pointed out how VA does not look at
low lab numbers with Amylase and Lipase. They dont offer lipid panels
and do not look for triglycerides unless the patient ask for it by name.
was getting quite abit on the record till Denise Nichols got in and tried
to drown everyone out building a shrine to herself. Megalomania sets
in and its a shouting contest after that to be heard. The chairman looses
control as the NGWRC crowd sets it to shut it all down. If its not about
them then it has to be crushed in commentary.
In truth, I did like Webex for some of its features. It did take on a more
pesonal feel to it. What I didnt like was the butt scratching tone it took
on of disheveled folks with there personal ticks going on. The chairman
pacing back and forth, lifting weights, and other personal affectations
took on distracting quality that seemed unprofessional. Self absorbed.
Like he didnt want to be there and could show that. Made me feel like
this was all trivial to him, that my life and my fellow vets annoy him.
I have a host of ideas how to implement a data base through the VISTA
computer system that could give VA greater over all data rates to baseline
information. Using "anonymous" you can borrow data to a portal or app that
sends it all to researchers via a catalog pull down menu. Then you could
see in real time lipid rates, serum and blood values, organ functions,
vital stats, imaging types, and health trends. You would not violate
the privacy act or patient confidentiality. It would assign veterans a
numerical code in the dbase file rather than name. This could totally change
perceptions of 2021 real time information. It would not be a data hog or
create bottlenecks either. Only, this committee never want to look past
peer review and publish. Misses that healthcare cross over.
Im lost in a sea or personalities canceling each other out.
As the last meeting was a testament to how they planned the last 10 years to make
sure nothing happens. The PDICI did just what Gingrich wanted it to do, and
Dr. Hunt even sat on the committee to sabotage it from within. VA and the
GWVITF ( Gulf War Veteran Illness Task Force ) set a plan in motion to gut the
RAC and run me off 10 years ago. Then what? Let it flounder, and pander to
the disruptive advocates that kept it from re-organizing.
What we have here is extreme dysfunction and no one willing to re-organize
any of this to deal with that. The meetings have no purpose, no publication,
no rallying of the media for the vets. Its about the careers of a handful of people
trying to cash out while making VA happy. A dismissal plodding waste of
tax payer resources that Congress has lost interest in. Much like the bloated
misuse the WRIISC has been all these years. The gutting and abuse of the
letter of intent to what PL 105-368 was supposed to be.
Only thing sort of happening is the Burn Pits registry and VA has bent over
backwards to sabotage this was well. Its nothing, goes no where. They did
all they could to kill this including delaying the start date even after it rolled
past its deadline. So VA is taking anyone that served in the middle east
and writing them off. No soap box, no mention, silent meaningless deaths.
Gulf war vets cant even turn to this and its current.
Its all a verbal loop, with no oversight or congressional mandates. No hearings,
no IG, no GAO, or anything of value. All the while VA isnt helping me with my
failing pancreas, cant even get a amylase test - everything but. Im miserable
and in so much pain. Well, we have nothing but sadist left out there enjoying that
fact. Look, his autopsy said this was bad - that not thew words Im looking for.
What is the point of VA medical care if it wont do the work. Allow suffering?
Is that really its intent? Seems evil to me.
March 3rd, 2021
Beware, here comes the 3rd wave. Covid isnt over.
OMG, you've got to be kidding me. This cant be real. The pandemic
is far from over and Texas declares all safe? When .07% have gotten
vaccines and mutations have taken root locally. Didnt we do this last
year when the governor lifted restrictions and things tanked HARD.
These pandemics take 2 years to pass. There often is a 3rd wave
and this is no different. We might not have 50,000,000 dead world
wide but America is on track to match the 675,000 that died in
America in 1918.
My track record is 90 days ahead of the nation, and the 275,000
more that will die because people cant control themselves. This
didnt need to happen. The vaccines are not in time to stop the
3rd wave or slow it. You needed 150,000,000 for that or more.
Pending March 10 RAC meeting
The committee is now trying to assure me the tech is ready for
the meeting coming up. They defend the method. But, bandwidth is
bandwidth and there is no reverse call to thwart the charges. This
meeting is designed to only be accessible to those that can afford
it but dont need it. The chairman knows Webex isnt easy to use of
that freindly. Said so to me. But, cell phone bandwidth and hotspot
bandwidth is limited to a few gigs even with unlimited plans.
Exocrine Functional Impairment
Im just now beginning to under stand the last 2 years Ive been in a form
of pancreatic failure. Was thinking diabetes, and then last few days it
came together drinking the Mango juice. Amylase, lipase. Ive lost the
ability to produce Amylase. My pancreas is almost gone for that.
VA did all it could not to test for Triglycerides, HDL, LDL, Amylase, and
lipase the last 2 years. Did they know and block me from getting these?
I no longer think this is a accident. Dont ask, dont find has taken a rather
sinister turn for me. As now its really bad and Im in so much pain.
Turns out EFI is common for OIF, and OEF troops. Gulf war its glossed
over. But, burn pits suggest a common cause and VA doesnt want to
take them serious. Organ failure and a very painful death - is that really
fair to American veterans? Im facing a horrid morbid death soon screaming
in agony, Im sure that gives VA great joy knowing that. This ends in pancreatic
cancer or worse. They really relish in my misery, as do the mentally ill sickos
of the world out to ruin America. Wrong people in charge of all this.
We've been betrayed
After the Dr. Haley DU study and others doctors behavior, its obvious
they sold out to get grants - the only ones left they could get that VA and
DOD would pay for. The bad kind. The Play on words types that start
with terms like substance abuse, or self induced in the title. Rigged to
fail and lacking objectivity.
For 2 years the bulk of the doctors in our ranks that used to talk to me
wont answer phones any more. Its about getting media attention and the
PDICI is standing on there necks to tow the DOD line. I predicted 10 years
ago that DR. Hunt and the PDICI would sabotage our issue and they did just
that. To the point these people meet in secret with VA staff and do not
publish what they discuss. Closed door society. Only, its bean counters
waiting for us to die. Certainly drooling right now that my death is close
Right now, Im the loudest voice in the room people and Im no where
near 810 Vermont street. Its a show down as I play beat the clock to
get what I can on the books before I die. As I have no one to continue
my legacy, this all dies with me.
Your about to loose your last really loud voice. Then its really silence.
Silence is consent. I will try my best to be a poltergeist haunting them
from the grave if it could be done. More than likely, Im just another
silent grave no one will notice.
February 27th, 2021
RAC's new meeting format, from bad to worse
The RAC posted its new meeting in the federal register for March 10th,
They do it on a Saturday so no one notices it going out. This is meant
to fly under the radar so everyone misses it.
Its all new format. Only, Its Webex and a new conference phone
line that isnt VANTS. Which means unless you have mega unlimited
bandwidth and a very fast connection - you cant follow it. The phone
line is designed to keep this one sided and no disruptions. Like we
really need to see them all.
I wrote to the committee just how bad this was, and at first the chairman
got my sharp ended remarks. Then his skin went thin on the second
email as he wanted a easy out. I did it on purpose to show he grabbed
at the anger flag to dismiss me once more on a technicality. That he
does not understand what "damaged vets" are like to work with. Made
it personal and did what he always did with me - found a reason not
to respond after the first bombshell. This only furthers my point they
want to anger vets and drive them off. Provoke, or do that pandering
thing of "I hear your pain" and it goes no where. Every time Ive dealt
with him for 2 years now has been pandering, and then nothing.
But, my suffering is very real to me here at home. This winter has been
hell on earth. The house and what Ive had to do to get back up. Which
fell on deaf ears, as long as its not them then it doesnt matter. I feel
its a reflection of VA's cold aloof feeling that keeping us at bay is working
just fine for them. No dissension, silence is consent.
This next RAC meeting will be a new low, and much worse one. Just
be the committee members smiling happily at each other, small talk,
rainbows, and unicorns. Those like me wont be able to follow, and most
certainly not be able to interact at all. Spectator only.
Yet, only the NGWRC cares as long as they get to sit at the table.
Observe, keep the intel to themselves, make sure only they get to
talk with VA senior staff, and tell them only there story. Very bad joke.
Im not welcome. Im little people. What could I possibly know or have
to offer these gods on high. My suffering has no value because I am
a non-person. This committee has gone to great extremes to make
that obvious. Not that anyone there is making any progress or cares
as long as they go on building shrines to themselves and future careers.
See, Im angry in there eyes, and that must make me a bad person. How dare
you criticize us. But, I demand results or some kind of progress. Nope, VA
demands we remain stagnant, and run off vets. We hear your pain, beep.
Well folks, your silence is consent, and with each passing month you loose
a little more to them. Right now, there isnt anything left. They just want to
make sure this is dead, and no one can find there way in to complain. That
if you do it goes circle file 13, and vanishes right after that meetings. This
is vile, and horrendous, and they know no one cares. No rallying, they
made sure of that. Im the litmus test, ignore me till Im dead. The most
outspoken person in the room, once gone, joyous silence. Make up any
story they want unopposed. As the other handful is too busy groveling at there
feet for scraps to dare challenge them.
February 26th, 2021
If you go by the numbers, they say a different story
There is a bunch of fear mongering going on with Covid that is making this
frustrating in so many ways. So if you go by the media and the national
numbers this is a out of control fire on paper. But, anything can be made
to look that way.
A year ago I expected 6% to 7% mortality or higher with this. My projections
were on a more lethal bug given its predation in other countries. Its a year
later and what Im finding is this. Covid relies on beating down people with
bad diets, bad lifestyles, weakened immune systems, bad genetics, and
a dozen other circumstancial situations that allow it to beat down certain
folks more than others.
Ive also noticed high profile high exposure folks that a year later are
right where they were before. Maybe already had it and its over for them.
There not door knob lickers flirting with death. They limit the exposures
and may have not gotten a full on dose of the virus, but a gradual amount
they could fight off. Did you get a few hundred, a few thousand, or millions
at your first dosing in your environment. That first bump into it could be
gradual enough to give you a chance. Those that got a big hit with millions
or billions of the virus at once didnt stand a chance. This is true even
with bio-weapons like Anthrax, its about delivery amount per dose.
Strikes me this is a opportunity bug and not as lethal as once thought
because Im pretty sure its under reported by a factor of 10. Im positive
that more than 15,000,000 Texans alone have been exposed, and most
are not reporting it. Those that are have symptoms they can see, the
rest do not or think this is a cold, allergies, whatever. But, county by
county around me its running from 1.1% to 1.7% mortality depending on
the size of the metropolitan city in that county. Nothing like what I had
expected back in April 2020. Its the scale of the infection that makes
this notable. People spread it quickly, and I think mostly out of spite. As
the "never do wells" know they are sick and go out in public on purpose.
Saw that yesterday, greasy rag tag guy with no mask coughing at
people in a store. Jerk.
But, I was pointing out mutations back in October and generational
variances long before anyone else said boo about it. Because a virus
borrows RNA from others when two kinds share a cell. There not complete
and when they recombine they end up with extra materials around them.
So places like Africa that have harsher situations only add to this. The
life cycle of mutation here is 1,000 fold compared to humans. Numerical
progression of exposures amplifies this to hourly when its millions of host.
Now billions in the next few months.
Im very glad this isnt what I projected. The question now is the vaccines
and if they have properties long term that make this worse. As I now see
them as having more long term effects having been rushed into the arena.
Which is worse, Covid or the vaccine. Im sure the people that died would
have rather had the vaccine. But, I think herd immunity has already begun
without it and after the stupid people get done trying to get it we will see the
numbers go down. Those that want to party, lick a door knob, and say its
not real. Which we have a bunch of around me.
So far Ive seen high risk people use common sense, and stay out front
alright. If more people became aware of there surroundings and kept up
sanitation - they will see like the schools that isnt a wild fire. Isolate
and contain has worked locally. Scale is everything and metropolitan
cities are the most vulnerable. Too many people close together.
February 25th, 2021
The winter of our discontent
Last few weeks had been brutal on us all. In Texas the grid folded and
nearly everything failed or came to a stop. Almost half the population
of Texas lost something from power to water. Then you had the run on
food and other commodities, wiped out the stores.
This week its the run on building supplies, and contractors running a muck
cashing on on the misery. Major chains like Lowes, and Home Depot that
were too big to fail could not keep up. In the end to repair my plumbing I
had to go to obscure out of the way suppliers off the main stream. They
have it because no one even knows the exist. Once I got what I needed
I helped broker between them so that the supply store in Gatesville could
have vital repair pipe and fittings from another to remote for people to find.
Then told everyone in 3 counties about them including the local water company
so that they could help others get back up. As none of them had answers
and were too busy digging out to know these things. As there was no good
reason for these shortages, these larger companies dont take disasters
serious enough to stock pile for true national issues. This was a failure
of both Federal and state planners on a crumbing utility infrastructure that
refused to upgrade, and then the building supply community to plan ahead
For me, it caused a week of hardship. But, I had already been in the process
of upgrading my plumbing so most had been set aside before hand. I was
digging tunnels to get to the aging pipes. Slow, painful, tedious work. Then
the cold snap caused a phenomenon called flash freeze at 6am February
16th that took all the pipes out in a 30 minute period. They worked, and
then 30 minute later nothing at all faucets. Hour later I had water in my
green house at the line closest to the main feed. Then the water supply failed
and I had no water coming in for a week. There main pump failed, and there
backup was junk. Went out and tried to help them, I could have rebuilt it
in 3 hours and had them back up - they didnt want my help. Frustrating.
Im cutting out a mishmash of weird pipes and 40 years of bad repairs to a aging
home. A spider web of bad thinking down there before I even came along.
It was over due, and this week forced me to bring it all to a end.
I had to tear out my bathroom floor, ruining it. Then swim in ice cold water to
cap blown lines or put in cut off valves. This was true horror show for me
as 3 times I turned water on only to find other breaks. Stories had gotten back
to me of others having water moccasins move in under the houses during the
storm. I was slipping down into a dark tight space in black icy water with possible
angry snakes looking for a target. Alone, with Kayle at school. The pipes crumbled
any where I touched it. Brittle. Further flooding underneath. Pushing my water
bill up with every thousand gallons I lost.
But, I had been homeless and in a war. Those were still worse than this. Going
2 weeks without food. Shivering in my car in 20 degree weather with no heat
and a broken foot I couldnt get set. Lost in Iraq at night in them middle of a fire
fight as I had fallen a sleep from exhaustion at the wheel then drifted off at the
worst moment. The list goes on and on of the bizarre things that happened to
me long ago.
Thought my plumbing through, changed the layout. Hardened it off at each step
with triple redundancies. Slowly regained it all. Hot water is shielded now. The
kitchen, washing machine are back. Im on my bathroom now as I take those
pipes up to current. Better layouts with greater control. No more rotting steel
lines with black goo and rust in them. Its getting better and the water is gone
underneath the house.
Did anyone come to my aid, offer any help, ask? No. My neighbor knew of it
and seemed to delight in trying to make things worse in his own sad small
way. The local druggies and drunks were busy trying to antagonize each other
hoping to push people over in a crisis. The town of Osage is mostly bottom
of the barrel people from around the county that have no where else to hide.
Good thing I dont need them, or care. Let them ruin there own lives, they have
to live with the fallout of there own behaviors in a crisis and they dont get that
yet. Im not looking inside a 8 mile radius, My outreach is much further than
that, and I dont operate at a 2 digit IQ like the folks here. I lived all over 11 counties
and Im not limited to local resources. Cant afford to be narrow minded.
My point is, I survived worst case scenario and Im not out very much. After this
part is over I will have very solid plumbing despite the shortages. Im not being
raped by contractors. I dont have to rely on vile neighbors that betray each
other for scraps. Not looking to others for emotional support or hints of kindness.
Because this is a war being fought in America. A war of mediocre personalities
setting out to ruin what they cant control. Rather than people pulling together,
most choose to use this as a opportunity to spread there petty misery thinking
it wont come back on them. Strike while people are distracted or hurt.
I helped people in Crawford, McGregor, and Gatesville. Provided support to
suppliers, utilities, distribution, schools, and stores that go unappreciated for what
they do. Because in the end big business has failed us, and local infrastructure is all
we really have. Unlike here in Osage where the petty choose to be even worse
human beings than they were before. Fooling no one but themselves.
Cant live a lie people. You cant use politics, religion, and other vices as a means
to cheat others. This is survival in a major crisis and all those crooks out there
that cheated America are cashing in any way they can. They have no plan to
rebuild, build, or save anyone. They plan to bring back darker things to give them
the upper hand much like the Nazis did. Its all around you. The never do wells
will bring this country down.
Dont brag to me about what a great country this is. Because way too many
right now are not making it great. Im operating alone surrounded by people
that are poison to all around them. There not learning any humility in the
face of bizarre issues eroding this country. They choose to add to that in
some backwards logic. Seems entertainment is all they crave and spreading
misery if they dot get it. Beer is more important than survival? Drugs?
Im not deterred by that. Just sad that it will take 10 years for others to eventually
catch on to all this after they suffer more than needed. I have to baby sit idiots
that cant grasp the obvious and wait for them to grow out of there ID complexes.
Till they finally tire of wallowing in mud. Which with the fall of the Roman empire
took nearly a 1,000 years. Americans might not catch on in time after all.
Till then I use reason, not color things. No illusions. Fix what I can and wait for
people to grow up or die by there own hands. As common sense is gone and the
every man for himself rule is in play. You wont win like this people. It has to be
the true social common good with no strings attached. No one person is more equal
than others. No one is fooling me right now, Im on my guard and watching others
cheat themselves. Your wasting valuable time people and finite resources. Its
more like watching rats scurry around chewing up what is left with the same
regard for there surroundings.
Your teetering on the edge of two choices right now. A true collective effort that
your part of on a grand scale, or a collective organized crime ring like the
1920's that will take 20 years to bring in check. Sadly, I already know what
the out come is because "you cant make me" is all I hear out there after a year
of Covid ravaging the land. People rather put negative energy into things and
be petty. Simian instincts rather than higher evolved. Politics and religion wont
save you, you have to save yourselves, and not at others expense.
February 19th, 2021
Survival in the 3rd world country that once wasnt
Here was a epic 100 year winter on top of a global pandemic that you
just cant predict with anything including historical. What matters in
all this is that people behaved so badly towards each other, and the
over all situations they handled badly. All that attitude and mediocrity
survived when things were easy. Now status quo failed when nature
threw us several curve balls. Really? Good for her. America deserved
it for being so snide about every day life.
Preppers like me at least didnt panic as things fell apart. You adjust to
the new norm and reason your immediate surroundings. You count your
remaining assets and set you standards real low. Like zero expectations
as things get worse. Out here is Crawford the drunks came unhinged and
attacked people like cowards with beer cans at night. Thats your answers
you sad little monkeys? These are the people that brought America down
and we certainly dont need. Good luck finding compassion because your
not using a survival strategy and no future to speak of. Sadly, we mostly
have these rather than civic minded folks. The local bigger farms and businesses
hire them, make them indentured slaves of sorts, then lean on them to
drive away others not on there payroll. Its come full circle out here, and
now desperation has made them careless and over confident. More stupid.
Ive been hit very hard in a dozen ways. But, I dont panic. Unlike others
who have to pay contractors to save them, my issues will pan out at
.10¢ on the dollar as I do all my own work and have most of the parts
I need stored around me. Once the water comes back up, I can figure
out the plumbing leaks, and use what I have in reserve. But, I wont know
how bad it all is till we spend a week above freezing. 4 degrees one night,
0 degrees the next, and 196 hours way below freezing is historical record
country down here. Will take time to thaw and then see how bad this really
was after the fact.
Weird part is I spent two weeks getting ready for all this, and it went
20 degrees cooler than first predicted. I would have been fine at 9 degrees,
and got through 4 degrees alright. Then we hit 0 degrees and everything
tanked at 6am. Nature just kept going down trying to find that failure point.
We lost everything here in Texas. Complete collapse of the grid on all
levels as if a nuclear bomb hit us. The black outs were tough. 10 million
still in the dark. I learned what galloping electrical lines are as they ice
up and bounce real bad in the wind. That shorts the breakers they cant
find easily. We lost the mail, shipping, grocery stores, and then the water
companies here folded in unison and turned there phones off. I was over
run by rats that chewed up my van wiring and ate my green house plants.
Both vehicles went down in the extreme cold. It kept coming hour by
hour as the house plunged inside below 55 and could not get it warmed
back due to the extreme cold air. 84 year old house just cant stay warm
in arctic conditions. Then birds dug out the leaves protecting my plants
and the cold killed all my gardens.
OK, biblical stuff here. Then again, Ive been homeless, and in a war. Ive
got other moments that match this and I made it through those.
The rats were no doubt from the idiots around me that brought them out
here. Killed them off which was a real trick, rats are smart. I got them
into routines then switched up on them. After that I tackled what I could
as the hours went by. Cant go under the house as it flooded after the
pipes burst. So worked at it from trap doors from above and capped what
I could till later. Ive got lots of cut off valves to begin with. Built my own
CO monitor out of a arduino nano and a MQ2 sensor to keep track of
the levels in the house. Hard part was splitting wood in these conditions
outside. Plowed through it.
My point is, locally everyone turned asshole, and showed there real colors
in a crisis. Thats going to follow them. I was shoveling snow off the road to
keep it passable for 175 feet. I asked no one for help as I know out here
no one helps no one, and they didnt. Quite the opposite, the drunken thugs,
and dope heads saw this as opportunity to spread misery. Over played there
hands. Became obvious. Sloppy.
See, your all out there cheating each other. So many people living a lie
and living for the moment. The cry fowl when things go sour. What about
you? As far as Im concerned your all out to cheat each other, and no one
wins. The loss is yours, not mine. I will do what I always have done as
a abandoned veteran in a hostile country - survive by my witts and not trust
people to do right by anyone. See, I spent years getting ready for this
moment and you know what? It happened. I was right about people and
what they would do in a crisis. Reach new lows, turn on each other, and
certainly not look out for the greater good. Which isnt a departure from
what Ive lived with after the war. People here dont care about suffering
till its theres, and they dont show empathy to others for real. Until its
misery everywhere and no one is happy. I saw that coming.
Year after year I make so many accurate projections about so many
things in life. Then people cant wait to thumb there noses at me, and
go right on making the same mistakes. VA and its crowd is the worst
of all about this. But, over time I couldnt even reason with what seemed
to be normal people down here. Denial, or themselves and there over
all surroundings. Even as I predicted the Covid issues out past 90 days
better than the government did no one cared. So much arrogance out
there and then the storming of the capital by more idiots. Then warning
people here about what artcic weather is like - Ive lived it. Nope,
everyone out there are way too smart for me - I must be clueless because
they can imply it.
Its the story of the grasshopper and the ant. Im preparing and doing the
daily work to ride out a bad winter - and the grass hopper ignores the
warnings to live for the moment. Mock me, and yet who saw the reality
coming and prepared rather than hoped it would just work out. Life dumped
on me, and I just kept plugging along. So far, only thing Ive seen is mostly
people try to make it worse rather than fix anything. Till homes are dark,
and people are staying at others homes to find shelter any where they can
get it. Your not going to make it this way folks.
Man oh man, my worst fears about people manifested themselves all these
years later - and the worst is yet to come. You didnt learn, you cant wait
to go back to status quo, and yet the future is already very different even
if you cant see it. America has to go totally dark before the idiots get that
its in trouble. Could have been better, but you just dont want that do you.
Hoping your neighbors fail, and die. Only, they take you with them.
My reality maybe a dark one, buts it reality. It doesnt scare me and Im
going to make it some how. Because all this was, is practice for worse.
Find weaknesses to patch. The new norm is way worse. People will do
the one thing Ive always know them to do, get worse and over confident
heading into disaster. Just like back in the war, and also what people did to
me when I was homeless. Humans are not the noble creatures they like
to think they are. When things get bad, they turn animal, and you see the
real them in action. Only, I refuse to be a animal or get reduced to one.
Oh well, its your problem - Im not going to add to it. But, I also know
that others will only try to add to mine. Americans suck and the world
community will cut our throats once this is over. The "personality war"
that ruined America for good. Thanks for nothing.
February 18th, 2021
30th anniversary of the Gulf war, the Feb 17th VA RAC meeting,
and VA's feable gala to the war
I think yesterday really did represent the overall national persona at the
virtual RAC meeting at VA. On so many levels. It was sad, frustrating, and
quite pointless. Yet, those that think they are in charge are quite happy with
it because there the people there now. Didnt matter it had like 17 people
at it and almost all deeply tied to the former Gulf War Illness Task Force.
What I heard online and saw on Adobe connect were individuals that
pleaded there case only for themselves, and the villains of our issue there
that drove away everyone else of value. So you had a circle of people that
each was talking at the crowd but not really to each other. It was nearly
comical watching the banter on the chat bar as the manipulators did there
best to build themselves up as national heroes, and yet watch them, do all
they can to keep people away from the media and other sources if it was
want about that one person. This has had made the NGWRC a joke now
because it even has put it on odds with its long time loyal supporters who
speak quite ill of them offline. They dont care, and they dont realize the
ploy with VA to keep them as they are. VA knows the dynamic and is
fine with how they work because it creates this bottleneck to progress.
In the end, it was the vets fault for things crumbling - not VA. So they want
others to think. The NGWRC has totally lost sight of what it has become
and its outer image versus what it thinks it is. Yet, Ive heard first hand what
the service groups have said about them. The service groups have a code,
never berate them publicly. Behind the scenes, one called Jim Bunker a
lying bastard they cant stand. I was stunned at who said it.
I tried to interject during the meeting, and make same old points. At times
I could not tell if my remarks even made it into the que. But, it didnt matter.
The committee and others had made sure that no matter how good my
materials - they are to be avoided at all cost. There are now nothing but
burn outs on board each trying to carry there own torch. You dont sing there
praises, then watch out. So all that is left now are a dozen armies of one
trying to vie for air time not getting that information isnt going any where.
Its a fielding mission to find vets, humor them, and then blow them off.
Find the last of the dissenters that might threaten VA's internal records or
findings. As 2 years of watching this committee has show me these people
only get heard if they become part of this inner circle. You become a good
ole boy paying homage to the committee, you might get to sit in on one of
there secret meetings with the VA secretary or his executive staff.
Then came this really sad moment as they did there little 30 year anniversary
dance to the Gulf War. Im looking at the people on the sidebar, and was truly
disgusted with the attendance in many ways. The GWVITF of 12 years ago
and its inner circle following was mostly the bulk of it. I could not stand how
one sided this was and commented on it. How is this honoring GWI vets if
there are only these people basically honoring themselves. I pointed out that
the very things I dissented on my committees report in 2009 have come to pass
right the in front of me. How vile the PDICI is, as its meant to either drive off
vets or or label them as somatic. That Gingrich had blown off my request while
on my committee heading out. How these people disbanded and pretty much took
everything with them. Leaving 10 years of NOTHING.
So here is the irony in all this. Its a broken dysfunctional dynamic VA is
very happy to keep as is. VA has made sure only its ringers get air time and
that it never has to address healthcare and benefits with GWI vets. VA has
made sure that the RAC never publishes or give any rallying points. Just go
on meeting with VA staff in secret over the years issues. The NGWRC keeps
its death hold on its now ludicrous position as there lackeys, and that no one
outside its little ring get heard - which VA is fine with. Blinded by there need
for self glorification even if its quite distorted. To what now, as vets have no real
program to go to other than the throw away singular WRIISC program failing
us in a spectacular fashion.
Noticeably missing? Congressional committees that used to attend. If they
are there I cant tell. Like HVAC that used to champions hearings. If there is
oversight right now, I see no evidence of it. Are they relying on the NGWRC?
Its one of the big reason why the last hearings failed as the NGWRC made
sure only its following testified. They go out of there way to keep others like
me in the dark.
I cant fault any of these people only because Americans in general have taken
on the "Army of one" approach to life. I just want for me, and not others. There
are no collective efforts any more other than minority extremist now seeing there
chance to rise up in the ranks unopposed. Gulf war veterans mostly walk around
with there hand out, and walk away when benefits are still hard to come by. No
loyalty other than can you get them a rating easily and then walk away. Ive watched
this first hand for 20 years the people that showed up, wanted something, then
left when it was too much for me. People used me up, and even switched sides
if they saw opportunity for themselves. One is a committee member now that
runs interference for VA., There is no Gulf War service group because the vets
wont rally at Congress to charter one. It happened with the Korean war and now
with Gulf war. The results are the same, Korean war vets died in obscurity. VA
was fine with that to.
How can anyone win in this arena? You cant. It cancels everyone out. The people
left in the arena have every subjective value systems versus true objective. To
keep there positions even if they are wrong. Because some how they will right
things even if there perceptions are distorted or totally off. That person in the
mirror is never wrong, and never makes mistakes, and never apologizes. Its
everyone elses fault. Dysfunction. So you have misery in charge and they enjoy
others misery. A stone wall to progress, and you cant reach them because right
now there really isnt a moral code in this country any more. You cant argue or
reason with them either, there not wrong in there own minds. Who is going to
hold them accountable? God, they know he is hands off on all this. Free will.
Kirt, the picture you paint - you offer no options. Yes I do. Wake up people
and study your value systems. Where does this really start. It starts with you
having to realize that your in a community / society that is driven by numbers.
If you dont fight the greater good for real, then your not part of it. You whittle
away at the cosmetics till you find common basic points and you move as
a collective towards those goals. Means you have to get along with others
at some point and agree on a simple aspect as a group. Which means getting
laws passed at Congress that force VA to serve its vets. Not grossly over fund
them to turn us away so they can play games with masochist in its ranks.
The people in charge of VA now are burns outs that rose to the top of what is
left of several bad administrations. These are folks getting revenge for all the
imagined wrongs they sat through in the ranks. Decimators that fired all
around them that threatened them. Like bad leaders did in the Army.
Im not going to further worthless careers, I want tangible goals and progress
in realistic manners. Either you create, or you destroy. Im running into a
massive network of people who destroy. Thats all that is left, grudges
matches to progress. People have to rally outside this, and pick a new path
that puts things back on track. Not anarchy, just not blindly following the
broken methods of the past. But,whatever you champion - you need to stay
on board and stop worrying about building a shrine to yourself. People will
screw this up, and you cant just walk away because others cant focus. Stay
to the simplest item and get everyone to support that as well as you. If vets
stopped making this about them, the personality war would be over and the
goal becomes key.
Americas "personality war" is a very sad chapter in its history. The stalemate
it created made Covid into a nightmare. "You cant make me" and "come
and take it from me" are not battle cries, there big huge flags of those that
destroy rather than create. When the smoke clears, humility will mean
something again as the posturing got no where. Stand your ground is more
like standing in quick sand and not moving. Got to see it for what it is and
not let your ego color the moment.
Im not standing in anyones way, and Im tired of waiting for anyone else
to get past there own anger of why others dont worship them. There arent
330,000,000 noble people in this country seeking greater goals. Once
even a tiny potion of that finds focus, things can and will change. It has
to start somewhere, and its waiting for people that see more than there
own personal needs. Almost selfless, but enough to make progress. Takes
a true cause. and staying with it for the greater good. True Objective reason.
February 11th, 2021
30th anniversary of the Gulf war
No one cares what happened, and now its a real sore point with Covid
to get any VA care or help of any kind.
No accountability, and the vets let VA off the hook when they shouldnt.
Why is this website so short now? Because ruffling feathers is pointless
if people are picking away at the infrastructure. Armies of one that help no
one but themselves. Sticking your neck out only to have them whack it
looking for freebees or ways to cheat you for helping them.
There are two sides to this story, and for 20 years Ive grown to understand
that the Gulf war vets are as quick to cheat people as the government
is out to cheat them. Stale mate of sorts. Who cares versus who cares.
So Im pulling my information, and commentary. Im on top of all manner
of issues and events, so what. Like others can do a better job than me.
If they did, this website wouldnt exist. Well, go out there and find out what
I already know. Do your own damn homework. Why should it be at my
expense when so many are making it worse, and others dont care. Either
way this has become moot.
Covid has brought out the worst in this country, and running this website
is a drain on me for all the people out there that think there entitled at my
expense. Ive nothing left, and things could not be worse in DC right now.
But, people like me faught and faught for others for decades and right now
people say "what have you done for me today". Well, get off your own butts
and do your own work. There is nothing left and no where to go on this
topic because the vets couldnt even muster the slightest support any more.
Its gone folks, and you let it happen. Now watch what VA does with that.
This isnt the worst part yet, and Im already disgusted where it is now.
Both sides of this are terrible. Ive done more than I could every imagine
in this arena and deserve better than be yawned at by mediocre people.
Make a fascinating book. Too many tell me so all the time. Only, Im not
going to write a book about failure and look for sympathy. Now is not the
time given how bad things are. But, I have nothing to prove any more either.
Get back to me when people do more than stick there hands out.